Drop 169: You Know?

glass bottomAmanda is surprised Joe’s still talking to her. He’s blonde and good-looking, with bright eyes and a tanned fit body. He has been laughing at her jokes and has given her more than one complement already. As an overweight, nerdy girl, she’s not used to the attention, but it’s going great – so great in fact, that she decides to go for it. Why not? You never can tell who a person might be into. It’s personal and sometimes quite surprising. Maybe this guy’s into big girls with glasses!

‘Say, Joe: you think you might wanna get some dinner with me some time?’

‘Yeah, sure, would be fun.’

‘Just the two of us, you know, and maybe catch a movie too.’

‘Oh, you mean like a date?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Sorry, darling. I think I gave you the wrong impression. You’re awesome and I think you’re really cute too with your funky glasses and pretty eyes, but I’m into dudes. Actually, if you want to know, I’m into older bald black guys with tattoos.’

‘Oh.’

‘Something about them just gets me, you know? We can still catch that movie though!’

‘Sure.’

Later that night Joe hits his usual spot for a quick drink, just to check out the scene.

Bingo!

After talking to Chuck – a large black man in his late forties with an amazing wide smile, fully tattooed arms done really nicely, and a perfectly round shiny head – for half an hour, and buying him a drink, Joe suggests they get out of there.

‘Oh, sorry buddy,’ Chuck says. ‘I must have given you the wrong idea. I’m not gay. Just here with some friends. You’re a handsome dude, for sure, but I’m into chicks – hefty pale white girls with glasses, to be precise. Something about them just gets me, you know?’

 By EM Vireo

Advertisements

Drop #55: Narrow Road

The road was narrow, maybe too narrow. There was barely enough room for two cars to pass in opposite directions, but Mr. Fideli drove fast. Mrs. Fideli sat in front with him while their daughter, Miranda, and her fiancé, George, sat in the back. They had all gone with Miranda to open her a new, higher interest, combined checking and savings account at the bank’s main branch in the next town over. Since she lived oversees, it had taken almost an hour.

‘Nice girl that helped you,’ Mrs. Fideli said.

‘Yes,’ Miranda answered. ‘She was very junior though.’

‘But she tried hard.’

‘Uhu,’ said Miranda. ‘She got the job done.’

‘Big ass on her though, hey!’ said Mr. Fideli.

‘Oh, man. That was some behind.’ Mrs. Fideli agreed. ‘And those thighs were pretty chunky too.’

‘And such a puffy face,’ said Miranda, ‘with such droopy eyes. She looked a bit like a bulldog, don’t you think?’

‘Yeah,’ said Mr. Fideli, as a small van passed with hollow rush of wind, ‘or a toad.’

‘Exactly! A toad’ said Mrs. Fideli. ‘That dress wasn’t flattering at all. Better wear something that hides your flaws if you’re unlucky enough to have that shape.’

‘That’s what I was thinking,’ said Miranda. ‘And do something different with your hair. Something that takes attention away from the face.’

‘It’s just common sense,’ said Mr. Fideli, going even faster. Out the window, flat fields replaced each other every few seconds; crows sat on the dirt, looking for dead things to eat; a wooden cart piled high with pumpkins flashed by. ‘Not everyone can be beautiful, but there’s no point advertising your flaws, don’t you agree, George?’

‘Hm,’ George mumbled. He’d been following the conversation with some surprise, as all he’d been able to think about since first seeing the young bank employee, with her large, melancholy eyes and fleshy lips, her generous yet subtle smile, and round, eager body movements, was sleeping with her, imagining in some detail, the various ways he would go about it.

By E.M. Vireo