Drop #114: Cool Friends

‘Hey there, neighbor.’

‘Hi. Say, I noticed you had friends over for dinner last night.’

‘That’s right.’

‘So why did you invite me to dinner on Saturday and then cancel, and not invite me again last night? That’s kind of rude, don’t you think?’

‘Well, yesterday I wasn’t hanging out with my cool friends; I was hanging out with my boring friends, and I’d tentatively put you in the cool category, so I figured you wouldn’t have mixed. The friends that canceled on Saturday were also in the cool category so next time I have them, or other cool people over, I’ll invite you too.’


‘Unless you think you belong in the uncool category. I could always move you over. I was a bit hasty with your placement and might have got it wrong. Happens sometimes. Not much evidence to go on really. More of a hunch.’

‘No, no, that’s okay.’

‘Are you sure? An honest mistake, perhaps. No harm, no foul. I’m having some rather boring people for dinner on Wednesday. A sweet couple. Really nice folk. Both vegans with matching gluten allergies. He’s a tax attorney and she’s a paralegal secretary. They’ll bring their one-year-old twins, Luther and Timotei. We’ll probably have a hearty discussion about third world inflation or mortgage rate projections before playing Trivial Pursuit, though Sandra has a rare blood disease and bad asthma and often feels too tired to finish the game. Let me know if you’re interested. There’s definitely room for one more, though I should warn you, it might be hard for you to get back into the cool crowd once transposed. There have only ever been two switchovers, and they were both from cool to uncool, like you might be doing and not the other way round. Some of the cool crowd is coming over on Friday – about six of them, though that number could balloon. We’ll have pasta or something, probably smoke a chillum or two, listen to music, watch a movie, maybe go for a drink. Rodrigo sometimes pulls out the guitar and gives us a live show—he’s a wizard with the whammy bar.  He’s in a punk band that just signed to a pretty major label and he’s bringing two of his girlfriends. The other guy, a friend I know from high school is a licensed shaman and grows his own peyote. The other two are a couple of skinny polyamorous tattoo artists who split time between New York and Austin. Really funny chicks. They can never keep their hands off each other, even in public – off all the rest of us too, now that I think of it. We usually end up having a pretty wild time.’

‘Yeah. I think I’ll wait for that.’

‘You sure? As I said, it’s not too late to join on Wednesday. I can buy another couple of heads of lettuce, and you can help keep an eye on the babies when Don plays his usual hour of Chopin scherzos on the piano, though you shouldn’t touch them because of the skin rash, of course.’

‘No, really. I’ll wait. Thanks.’

‘Sure? It’s really no bother to scoot you over, hardly any logistics to it at all.’

‘Absolutely. I’ll wait for Friday.’

‘Suit yourself. We’ll start around nine. Oh, and let me know if we disturb you Wednesday night, though I doubt it. It’s usually a quiet affair.’

‘Okay. No problem.’

‘Great, by the way, I love those shoes.’

‘Thanks, neighbor.’

By E.M. Vireo


About EM Vireo
flooding the world with fiction

6 Responses to Drop #114: Cool Friends

  1. KK says:

    You put a nice smile on my face on this rainy evening! really good piece!

  2. Mariona says:

    haha!! I could so picture you having this conversation with someone!

  3. pi says:

    Perhaps they should try Monopoly for a change. Risk?

  4. Pure Fiction says:

    This is one of my favourites drops! It made me think and laugh or vice versa.

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