Drop #113: Blog Gone

A year ago today I posted my first drop. Here is number 113:

When I got home in the evening I went to my laptop to post something, but I couldn’t find my blog online. All I got was an error message saying it was no longer there. I was upset cause I’d made a big effort building a following and had some really good ideas for future posts; in fact, I was just about to post something fascinating on sub tropical pod fruit varieties, so you can imagine how bummed I was. There was nothing I could do about it, though, so I just went on about my day, deciding to take a shower and maybe go out on the town.

But when I pulled back the shower curtain, my blog jumped out at me, knocking me to the ground. It was smaller than me but very strong. It had taken the form of a skinny, mustard-colored, hominid, with bulbous dragonfly eyes and elephant tusks that almost reached the ground. If I hadn’t jumped away with the reflexes of a street market cat, he would surely have impaled me. Imagine that, being murdered by your own blog!

‘Why are you attacking me, Blog?’ I asked, holding it at bay with the pink stepping stool I keep in the bathroom to reach the stuff at the back of my oversized cabinet – you know, stuff like electric toothbrush manuals and full body bandages. ‘What have I done to you?’

‘You’ve neglected me,’ it said. ‘You’ve left me on the same post for weeks.’

‘I’ve been writing another, ‘I said. ‘About tropical pod fruit. It’s a complicated one and it’s taking some time.’

‘Not good enough!’ It lunged at me again with those tusks. ‘I demand attention!’

‘You try categorizing flowering sub species of arboreal pomegranates!’ was my come back, as I pushed him away and reached for the bulk size toothpaste tube on the sink. I popped the cap and squeezed with all my power, aiming for those monstrous eyes. He spat a bizarre yellow gunk at me, scratched at the air with his saber-like claws.

As you can see, I’m back online, so you know who won that fight. Yeah, baby. That’s right.

E.M. Vireo

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About EM Vireo
flooding the world with fiction

11 Responses to Drop #113: Blog Gone

  1. vdpb says:

    Happy One Year Dropniversary!

  2. These blogs do tend to act like that, eh? Quick question: is the drop you were preparing real or not? I couldn’t decide if you were being ironic or not

  3. pi says:

    Drip by drip 113 drops have bored into the conventional, defied boredom, spawned whimsy, put a kink into kinky, entertained, earned a following. 100 not out is a good century in he 21st and still going, past 13 more.

  4. Pure Fiction says:

    It is so refreshing to come back here after a break and browse your new stories. A strange coincidence: I swear I wrote my newest post ‘The Killer Fantasy Novel’ before I read about your murderous blog!

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