Drop #43: Certainty

Victor watches a documentary on The Clan in disgust, knowing instantly that they stand for all he does not. He despises their hatred and denounces their ways. But then, a disturbing thought: what if he’d been born in Louisiana in the 20s? Could he possibly have been a member himself? Could he have believed their message, actually thought they were right, and partaken in their heinous acts? He cannot say no for sure and that scares the hell out of him.

Gwendolyn comes in. She doesn’t even knock. Sucks having roommates sometimes.

‘I heard Take On Me by Aha three times in the last week,’ she says right away, as if he’d asked her something. ‘Surely, that isn’t normal. Surely it bodes some or other way about some or other thing.’

‘The great oracle has spoken,’ Victor says listlessly. ‘All hail the great prophet.’

She ignores him, grabbing the remote and changing the channel before resting it on the thick novel he’s been reading, taking a second to align the edges.

A documentary about Edith Piaf says she died at 47 of liver cancer, and Victor thinks, ‘wow, I’d still have 16 years, even if I drink as much as her. That’s not bad at all.’

He tries to follow but Gwen wants to talk. She tells him how much fun she’s having with her Japanese colleague, who speaks little English, having him say stuff like: ‘would you like to tug my rooster?’ and ‘your velvety poon is so luxurious,’ which she now sounds out phonetically, the way the poor guy says it.

Victor doesn’t think it’s funny and wishes Gwen would stop talking. He is surprised to find in his head, the thought of having a cigarette: a consideration that has snuck in unnoticed, and now exists as a possibility, even though it’s been over a year. Just yesterday something similar happened when he considered trying to seduce the young punk girl who asked for directions. He didn’t, and was never going to—and isn’t about to have a smoke now either—but there’s enough insecurity there again to bother, which just makes him want a smoke more. Frustrated, he even considers having a go at Gwen, which would be a terrible idea, when he really just wants her to piss off out of his room so he can find something shitty to watch on TV, and give in once more to the luxury of mediocrity.

By E.M. Vireo


About EM Vireo
flooding the world with fiction

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