Approval

We’ll keep it light today. Nothing too serious like rape or unwelcome arousal. I’ll just ramble about something before dropping today’s Drop. Here goes:

The waiter comes by with an opened bottle of wine, pours a sip into a glass and waits for the guy’s approval (could be a woman, but the world is still so charmingly old school and proper, so I’ll make it a man), then the guy makes a big deal of swiveling, sniffing, tasting and nodding his head, saying something like: ‘um yes, that will do,’ all businesslike, before looking at his friends or colleagues, or high-end call girl date, and saying something like: ‘it’s actually quite nice.’ Anyway, we’ve all seen this scene before – it happens a hundred thousand times a night in any big city, but I get a weird feeling every time I witness it, and an even weirder one when I’m the swiveling, tasting, fool.

The thing is, unless people really know about wine, they can’t help looking either stupid or pretentious tasting it and giving their approval – hell, they look pretentious even when they know exactly what they are doing. OK, it’s established, they look silly, but moving on: how many of them actually know enough about wine to do the act justice, anyway. How many times do they actually refuse the bottle, say it’s no good, send it back? And really, how many times is the thing actually corked? Sure, some people know their stuff, but the percentage is tiny, so the established act, the pantomime of wine tasting is performed overwhelmingly by those who prefer coke zero to wine anyway, just want to get drunk already, know only two kinds: red and white, just like using the word vino in casual conversation, bank on the indisputable law that wine goes with cheese, or like telling everyone that Shiraz is a far superior grape to Syrah – (says the pretentious fuck.)

Anyway, my thought is: should traditions and formalities, with no other purpose than extending tradition and formality, get to survive and thrive only on their inertia, as they so clearly so in our world? (Talk amongst yourselves) This wine tasting business is just one of millions of acts in life that are so close to redundant and useless, one has to question the validity of their existence. All I know is that the world is not streamlined. The majority of acts and events that occur in it are mostly filler, mostly fluff. And I wonder: what would a sleeker, more efficient world look like? What could it accomplish?

*How terrible to immediately follow this thought, with the thought that this whole post might be fluff and filler too!

Random aside: The server pours a half-inch of wine, then stands back. But the man has already gulped it down. The server waits patiently, formally, napkin over forearm, then finally asks: is it ok? Oh yes, the man says, very good. In fact, I’d like another, and this time, can you pour it a bit longer.

Today’s Drop, One Song, is short and light – more of a droplet, really. Find it below.

Got to go. The waiter is coming around with a 2006 Barolo for me to taste. Hope this one is more fruit forward than the last.

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About EM Vireo
flooding the world with fiction

One Response to Approval

  1. royminor says:

    Agreed– tasting of the wine should only be offered to patrons sporting a monocle and top hat.

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